Jennifer Abrams on 4 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse during a Divorce

Going through a divorce is never easy. There are many issues of concern — your future, your children, your finances. It can be hard to care for yourself when you’re under stress. One of the most important things to remember is to not make matters worse by saying the wrong thing to your spouse. There is no benefit to making the process more difficult. Las Vegas, Nevada Attorney Jennifer Abrams offers her four things you should avoid saying at all costs!

“I Never Loved You”

It’s no secret that divorce can be a complex and emotional process. During this time, it’s common for spouses to say things out of anger or hurt that they may later regret. One statement that should always be avoided is telling your spouse, “I never loved you.” This can be incredibly hurtful, but it can also have a lasting impact on your divorce proceedings.

Additionally, Jennifer Abrams says this statement can make it harder to negotiate a settlement beneficial to you. Your spouse may be less willing to compromise if they believe you never cared for them in the first place. So, while it may be tempting to lash out during a divorce, it’s important to remember the potential consequences of your words. By keeping your statements civil and respectful, you can help to ensure a smoother divorce process for everyone involved.

“You’re a Terrible Person; You Ruined My Life”

Like the previous statement, telling your spouse that they ruined your life or that they are a terrible person will not do anything positive for your divorce. It will only make things worse. This will make it harder to get your spouse to focus on important divorce issues as they may be overcome with hurt and anger. It can also damage your relationship with them moving forward, which is particularly concerning if you have minor children together. You and your co-parent will need to communicate and cooperate effectively after your divorce case is over, for the benefit of your child(ren).

It’s important to remember that even though your marriage is ending, you still need to respect your soon to be former spouse. By speaking civilly and staying on an even keel, you can make the divorce process a little bit easier for yourself and everyone involved.

“You’ll Regret This; You Have No Idea What’s Coming.”

Making threats is never a good idea. Even though vague threats like “you’ll regret this” or “you have no idea what’s coming” do not rise to the level of warranting an order of protection, they are still ill advised. If there is ever an altercation or allegation of abuse, such statements will be used to bolster the allegations against you.

Further, empty threats accomplish nothing good. You will lose credibility as the threat will only confirm to your spouse that the decision to divorce was the right one. Your spouse will then likely use this against you by telling friends and family about your threats.

Additionally, Jennifer V. Abrams says making statements like this can create an incredibly hostile environment, which will not be beneficial for anyone involved. If you can approach the divorce with a reasonable mindset, it will be easier to resolve issues, big and small.

“The Children Don’t Like You Anyway”

One of the most challenging issues in a divorce matter is agreeing on custody arrangements. If you have minor children, it’s important to remember that they need both parents in their lives. While you may be tempted to align yourself with the children, against your spouse, this isn’t always in the children’s best interest.

It’s essential to try and put your personal feelings aside and think about what would be best for your children. By working together with their other parent, you can help minimize the impact of the divorce on your children by ensuring that they continue to have a positive relationship with both of their parents moving forward.

Strategies to Help You Control Your Emotions

It’s normal to feel a range of emotions during a divorce, from sadness to anger to relief. However, it’s essential to control your emotions as much as possible. This will help keep the divorce process less stressful and will also be better for you and your children’s mental health in the long run. If you find yourself getting angry or upset, a few strategies can help you regain control of your emotions.

Take some time for yourself

If you start to feel overwhelmed, take some time for yourself. This can be anything from going for a walk, taking a bath, going to the gym, reading a book, or watching your favorite movie.

Talk to a therapist

If you’re struggling to cope with your emotions, talking to a therapist can be incredibly helpful. A therapist can provide you with the tools and support to deal with your feelings healthily.

Final Thoughts

By following these tips, you can help make the divorce process a little easier for you and your children. While a divorce is never easy, it’s important to remember that you can control how you get through it.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jennifer Abrams

Attorney Jennifer V. Abrams is a 20 year veteran in the practice of divorce law. Located in Las Vegas, Nevada.